Gaining Perspective

I have been thinking a lot about perspective lately… I have always known that each of us come to a conversation or an experience differently. That depending on our past, our vantage points can be as unique as every individual person.

Three people are engaged in a conversation and one of them shares a story from their point of view. No matter how they tell their tale, it is interpreted in two separate ways because of the personal history of those who are listening. It is not the intention of anyone to show a bias, it is something that occurs naturally. 

There will be times when you experience an event or have an interaction with another person where you will walk away with one insight and they will have a completely different analysis of what transpired. I have heard the saying, there are two sides to every story and then there is the truth—but I challenge that a little. I believe that everyone is living their truth and sharing their truth, but that our truths are not always in sync. Do I think that an independent party can observe two people in opposition and prevail with a clear head? Yes, I do. But that third party is also seeing the situation from their own perspective. And while those two people in disagreement will never agree, they are also valid in expressing what they know to be their truth. There is the risk that frustration and possible heartache go hand in hand with this idea, but your truth will always to be your own, as my truth will only be mine.

I know not everyone will agree with me on this—and I am still working out the details for myself, while remaining open and increasing my awareness, but I am hoping this line of thinking will be as eye-opening for some of you as it has been for me. We each weave our own story, and the tapestries of our lives are all breathtaking, but they will never look the same—and that is what makes them truly beautiful.

Taking A Moment

I need to leave in 10 minutes to pick up Liam, I have freelance projects due tonight, home insurance to deal with, volunteer work to do, dinner to figure out..... I am feeling overwhelmed and suddenly frozen with the onset of anxiety that it won’t all get it done, how can it all get done…

And then I look down at the necklace I am wearing, I take a deep breath, lower my shoulders, surrender to the moment and exhale, making a similar sound to when I would fog a window on a cold day so I could doodle a heart, it is always a heart.

My necklace holds a pendant in the shape of an acorn—the acorn is made from the fluffy white dandelion seeds dipped in clear acrylic. In the moment before someone wished and sent those small seeds into the air, they were gathered and transformed into a clear acorn shape fitted with a real acorn top. It shows me the power of possibility, of growth and the magic of wishes frozen in time.

Many acorns will be disregarded, stepped on, taken away by wildlife (or my kids who love to collect them) but some of them will survive and thrive, breaking through to grow into a new tree. That’s what I want to do right now, survive the moment to thrive later on. As I pause, the light catches the tiny dandelion fuzz in the light and I can see the seeds shining through. And I remember hearing once that dandelions represent the sun, moon and stars—the yellow for the sun, white puff for the moon and when the seeds fly through the air they are like the stars. It’s funny to think that these little seeds can travel miles seeking the best place to grow… kind of like the wishes cast out by children and adults alike.

And just like that I am calmer, all the stuff rolling around in my head is quiet and stand to get the car keys looking at Connor for the first real time today. Face all scrunched, he wants me to stop typing so he can watch a terrible YouTube video, so instead I take his face in my heads and kiss him all over. He is laughing now, videos forgotten, he skips to the kitchen for a snack and I leave to get Liam at rehearsal knowing that I escaped the world of overwhelm by simply being mindful. 

There was a time, not long ago where moments like this would have consumed me. I would have been useless for the rest of day, balled up, tight-fisted and dripping in sweat, but today is a new day filled with little specks of possibility…. and maybe even a little magic.

Thank you to my beautiful friend Michelle for years of friendship and of course, this necklace.

The Hair Makes the Man

The new haircut

Last weekend we took the boys for haircuts. And now I cannot stop staring at Liam because he grew with every lock of hair that floated to the ground.

For those of you who don’t know, Liam is very particular about his hair—he likes it combed forward, straight down, never to the side and he likes it with a little length to it. So, I asked the barber (the same one who gave him his very first haircut!) to keep it long on the top, short on the sides and the back. Then those two put their heads together and started whispering… I heard something about a “secret haircut” and then Dominic, the barber, winked at me and said, “don’t worry.”

And when he was done, the little elf kid with long hair and sweet, delicate features was gone—replaced by a handsome young man that I have to admit I was not ready to see. Now I can’t stop looking at him, touching his super-short strands and playing with the “spike” in the front. It’s like I am seeing him for the first time in a long time—and you know what, I think I am.

Liam at 18 months

We get so caught up in the day-to-day mayhem that can only be the Mumford house that I don’t stop to really look at my boys. I don’t pause to notice how angular his face has become, how skinny his arms and legs are now that grew another inch (or more!) and how knowing his eyes are now. When I see him in mind’s eye, he is still a chubby toddler racing around our NY apartment, cheeks a flapping and thighs a thundering, blonde hair in his wild, excited, open eyes. My heart aches to go back to those days when our biggest problem was having multiple pacifiers in every bag, drawer and bedside—and yet THIS is such an amazing time.

Now that my eyes have been opened, I am going to keep them open as long as I can, I don’t want to miss a beat of him spreading his wings and soaring into his true self, a journey that started with a simple haircut. 

In the Wee Small Hours...

Lying in bed with the chill from outside still on my cheeks. I let the softness of the blankets wrap me in warmth with visions of my victory dancing through my head. After all it's not every day you race outside and actually CATCH the trash guy before he is gone. Especially on a Saturday. Especially when the sun is just rising. Especially after a blizzard!

Somewhere in that delicious state of almost asleep-ness, I hear a stir from the other room. And before I can even process what's happening, I get a tingle of excitement like butterflies in my belly. It gives me pause, wakes me up to a new realization. Do I always get a little rush of happy when I hear my boys begin to stir? I think I do! HA! How funny. How strange. How amazing!

And just like that I am awake, not only to the day, but to the fact that there are two children in the other room who call me mom... and suddenly I am filled with so much gratitude that my eyes well up. Completely caught off-guard by how after eight years of being a mama I can still be affected by the awesomeness of being a parent, I breathe in the moment letting it wash over me like a warm shower of grace and honor. I feel silly for being so overwhelmed by this emotion, but at the same time I want to shout, I am a mom! Can you believe how lucky I am? I smile to myself in the diminishing darkness and simply let it go. I don't care if it's silly or ridiculous, it is so real to me right now. 

So I lay there... my body sinking into the bed with exhaustion but my mind alive with anticipation. Then I hear it: thud.....thud.... thud...thud...thud...thudthudthud. And two eyes meet mine, straw-like hair everywhere. I scoop him up into bed with me and his sweet, sleepy smile melts me. And in a flash it's replaced by a mischievous grin and I know the game is on. Jumping up, he pauses only for second to say "Mommy are you coming?" 

And while my whole self wants nothing more than sleep, I find myself following him downstairs for cereal and Scooby Doo. And it's here that I write this, on the couch, covered in blankets in the half light, a blond head on my shoulder and a happy heart. 

Rethinking Resolutions

There was a time when I was all about the resolutions. Jan 1 was the deadline, the beginning of the end. I was going to rock it out, crushing every single goal, no prisoners!

I was so quick to tear myself up for everything that went wrong the year before and desperate for a fast fix to make it all better—lose the weight, stop nail biting, get organized, start the blog—that I rarely stuck with anything at all. Sure I was happily flaunting skinny jeans by February 1st but by April, I was back where I started and my HANGRY state of mind made me no fun to be around! My kitchen cabinets are crammed full of abandoned organizers, my nails are nubs and this blog has been reinvented more times than some A-list celebs I won’t name…

So, this year I am taking a different approach. I am setting an intention. What is that and what is the difference between that and a resolution? Awesome question. I am still working through it but here is how I have come to understand it—and I would love to hear your thoughts, as always!

Through my yoga practice I have always heard the instructor talk about setting an intention—I thought this was confined to that class, somehow I didn't get that the concept could (and should!) be extended outside of those four walls! I love the feeling generated by allowing yourself to be enough, to be fulfilled by what is around you, to be completely open and fully present—maybe that’s why I missed the boat, I was too busy vibing in my momentary bliss to realize I could roll it up with my mat and take it with me.

Setting intentions seems to me to be a way to clear the clutter and announce a simplified mind-set to carry yourself through each moment of each day. It releases you from the resolution which screams at you like a drill sergeant and lowers the volume to a whisper that comes from a place of love and understanding—you can move forward without being attached to an “outcome,” making you more aware of the journey.

A great example of an intention is HAPPY. When you decide to live HAPPY, and not rely on other people or other things to make you happy, you are vowing to bring your HAPPYness to everything you do from folding laundry to playing with your kids to creating your art. It is with you always, helping you to embrace the small moments long enough to notice the new freckle on your son’s cheek or how the light streams into your kitchen or the beauty of the perfect cup of coffee. It gives you permission to let go of the emotions and stress that don’t serve you and allows you to open your heart a little bit more each day.

I am in the process of cultivating my 2018 intention, it’s not there yet but just the thought of it makes me a little giddy! As soon I have it formed, I will share it I promise, but in the meantime, have you set any intentions this year? I would love to hear them!