"Why are you taking a picture of me?"
"I want to remember this."
"Me too."
10 minutes earlier....
He is crying for me. He hasn't done that in a long time. I was getting my coat on to go pick up his brother but I stop and look up at the saddest face in the world. Fresh from the tub, hair all crazy and I ask Jesse if he can get Liam so I can stay.
He reaches up and out for me, "Mommy, I just need you." I scoop him up grateful for his warmth and how tightly he holds on. I don't know why he needs me, but I doesn't matter.
As we get ready for books we notice a lady bug on the wall.
"The lady bug is so small. He needs someone to watch over him and protect him, like a parent, like you help me. I will be his parent, I will love him and protect him, ok?"
And I can't speak. His kindness and empathy radiates. My heart is so full. And in a flash it feels like it is being crushed under the weight of experience. How long do I have for moments like this? As he gets older, I know he will still be affectionate, but it will be different. Not good, not bad, just different. I yearn to hold on to this five-year-old beauty, but it is already slipping silently away.
And so as I tuck him in, I crawl in too. He pulls the covers over both of us and I lay with him for a few minutes.
Because I want to smell his hair, touch his cheek. Because I want to hold his hand while he drifts.
Because I can. Because he will let me. Because I don't know when he will ask again....