Lying in bed with the chill from outside still on my cheeks. I let the softness of the blankets wrap me in warmth with visions of my victory dancing through my head. After all it's not every day you race outside and actually CATCH the trash guy before he is gone. Especially on a Saturday. Especially when the sun is just rising. Especially after a blizzard!
Somewhere in that delicious state of almost asleep-ness, I hear a stir from the other room. And before I can even process what's happening, I get a tingle of excitement like butterflies in my belly. It gives me pause, wakes me up to a new realization. Do I always get a little rush of happy when I hear my boys begin to stir? I think I do! HA! How funny. How strange. How amazing!
And just like that I am awake, not only to the day, but to the fact that there are two children in the other room who call me mom... and suddenly I am filled with so much gratitude that my eyes well up. Completely caught off-guard by how after eight years of being a mama I can still be affected by the awesomeness of being a parent, I breathe in the moment letting it wash over me like a warm shower of grace and honor. I feel silly for being so overwhelmed by this emotion, but at the same time I want to shout, I am a mom! Can you believe how lucky I am? I smile to myself in the diminishing darkness and simply let it go. I don't care if it's silly or ridiculous, it is so real to me right now.
So I lay there... my body sinking into the bed with exhaustion but my mind alive with anticipation. Then I hear it: thud.....thud.... thud...thud...thud...thudthudthud. And two eyes meet mine, straw-like hair everywhere. I scoop him up into bed with me and his sweet, sleepy smile melts me. And in a flash it's replaced by a mischievous grin and I know the game is on. Jumping up, he pauses only for second to say "Mommy are you coming?"
And while my whole self wants nothing more than sleep, I find myself following him downstairs for cereal and Scooby Doo. And it's here that I write this, on the couch, covered in blankets in the half light, a blond head on my shoulder and a happy heart.